Lost and found

Last Saturday I was at the bar with some friends partying, as you do. It was only when I woke up the morning after that I realized I had lost my phone. I scrambled all throughout the apartment, called everyone and didn't leave any stones unturned looking for it. When the harsh truth finally hit me, I resigned to having to spend another few hundred bucks for a new one.

I swear phones are now part of our vital functions because those few days left me feeling the most crippled I've ever been. When I finally put together the money and bought a new one, it was as if the gates of heaven had reopened and all the angels were singing an ambrosial tune.

As I resumed my normal life as a millennial, I had to look for friends and family to give them my new number. As I talked to Stan, he pointed out to me that he thought I had found my phone, since he had received a call from me earlier that day. This seemed odd, but as it was Saturday, I didn't know if the hangover was speaking for him. As I talked to more of my previous contacts, they all said something similar: that I had called them at some point after losing my phone. They all said it sounded like me, thus them thinking I had found my phone.

After the painful and confusing process of giving most of my contacts my new number, I sat home, still bewildered by everyone's comments. That was when my phone rang.

I picked up and a very familiar "hello" flooded the speaker. It... It sounded just like me. I asked him about the whole thing, but he was just as confused as I was. We had both seemingly lost our phones, but he said he had found him at a bar he frequented. And there was my phone, in the clutches of a me-sounding person I had never met.

We have decided to meet up at that same bar tomorrow so I can get back my missing contacts, but mostly so we can talk and figure what is going on together. I guess I should sleep now, busy day tomorrow.

[This document was found in D*** S*****'s computer after him and D*** S***** both disappeared without trace. This document is confidential and only those assigned to the investigation of said case are allowed access to it]